How are you?... Ok?

So, we all ask others How are you? in a slightly throwaway way and receive a multitude of replies mainly the one’s we expect such as “I’m ok”, “Things are Good” and “Could be Worse” to name but a few.

After this exchange both parties are generally ok with the outcome, and we go off to the next interaction.

However, what would happen if we made a slight change asked How are you…. really? and actively listened to the response? In the worst case we would receive the same standard non-committal response as above, but we might get the underlying real response such as “to be honest I’m struggling”, “I’m really worried about bills” or “things are really getting on top of me”.

Sometimes often people just need to know that the interest is genuine to be able to open up and tacitly seek help or just feel they are being heard or that in sharing the problem it just releases a little valve and there doesn’t seem to be as much of an unbearable pressure.

In turn you may learn what we all already know that all of us are struggling with the same things, too fat, not big enough, not rich enough, worry about your kids, worry about your mortgage, worry about not being enough and that although we all give the impression that we’ve got it all sorted for the main we are all feeling the same things.

The other thing to remember is that generally wherever we are is where our previous choices have put us!

On one hand that could be seen as demoralising because we’ve made all these bad choices and so have really failed but, if you take the accountability for them, it is also really empowering as you can always make a different choice and change your situation.

This doesn’t also mean you have to radically change in a short space of time it could be that you just have to make the choice to look at things through a slightly different lens, add in some gratitude for what you have and those feelings of being alone or facing insurmountable problems may just shift as well.

So how are you…. really?

& Remember in lifting others we rise!